


Stone Cold

by huluhaslivesports



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 08:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huluhaslivesports/pseuds/huluhaslivesports
Summary: A/N: here's part 3 for y'all that was not at all planned but I was easily convinced to create more angst for this little series. But this is the final part...good luck





	Stone Cold

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: here's part 3 for y'all that was not at all planned but I was easily convinced to create more angst for this little series. But this is the final part...good luck

Alex's POV

Once Y/N walked through our bedroom door and I heard the front door close, the tears just came right back. She was gone and she wasn't coming back...because I was stupid. I made not just one but multiple mistakes and all of them revolved around the one person I try to get away from. I slowly crumbled to the floor and buried my face in my arms holding back the sobs that were bound to come out. I fucked up and this time I fucked up bad. All these questions were swirling around in my head. Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep hurting her? Why did she stay with me for this long? All of them still unanswered.

But the one thing that was clear was that I couldn't fix it.

_Stone cold, stone cold _

_You see me standing, but I'm dying on the floor _

_Stone cold, stone cold _

_Maybe if I don't cry, I won't feel anymore _

After Y/N left to God knows where, I went and saw Kelley to see if she could give me any advice or just yell at me. Either one was the right choice. But, I did have to take in account that Kelley was also friends with Y/N. Those two were the craziest people on the team and those memories somehow brought a small smile to my face.

But when I knocked on her door and she opened it with a smile, I knew she didn't know and was probably as clueless as everyone else on the national team about Y/N. If she did know, she wouldn't have opened her door with a smile, or just open her door at all. Y/N was in the wind and it concerned me deeply. But it wasn't my place to know since she wasn't my girlfriend anymore.

"Hey Al, what's up?" Kelley asked me cheerfully, which visibly dampened my demeanor. And I guess Kelley noticed and pulled me inside out of public view. She turned me around and looked me over in concern before asking me what was wrong. I choked up and before I knew it, Kelley pulled me in for a hug letting me get it together before I told her of what I did.

We then sat on the couch after I composed myself and looked at her to see I had her full attention. "Before I start just-just don't get mad at me, like, very angry at me. Ok I'm just going to tell you...I-I cheated on Y/N." I couldn't look at her but I felt it, the energy she gave off was anger and disappointment in me. "Alex...you did it...again?" I already felt guilty but her next sentence made me feel like a piece of shit.

"And it's not even the second or third time you've done it…because it's been more than that."

_Stone cold, baby _

_God knows I tried to feel _

_Happy for you _

_Know that I am, even if I _

_Can't understand, I'll take the pain _

I didn't know how to respond to my best friend because at the time, every time, I didn't regret it. But after, I always regretted it knowing I had a girlfriend who fucking loved me and treated me like her world. But I didn't reciprocate that kind of love back because...I don't actually know. But I did the one thing I could think of; call her.

After convincing Kelley to let me call her, I got up and left Kelley to go and try her phone again. I went to the spare bedroom to see if she'll actually answer my call this time. The phone rang a couple times causing me lose hope but that was before it stopped ringing sooner than usual. I looked at my phone to see the call timer had started, meaning she actually answered. "Y/N?" I asked skeptically.

I heard silence for a second, until I heard her voice, "Alex." I could hear the monotone of her voice which helped me see that I really hurt her. Tears brimmed my eyes again, unable to stop. "I didn't know you would answer…" I said truthfully, stopping for a second before continuing. "I'm sorry Y/N, for everything. I miss you so much...and I love you." I stuttered into the phone unable to keep my walls up with Y/N. "Yeah, you've said that before," she confessed, making my heartache and tears fall freely. I sniffled before replying, 

"I'm sorry I hurt you Y/N. I'm sorry."

"I know."

And then I heard the line go dead.

_Give me the truth, me and my heart _

_We'll make it through _

_If happy is her, I'm happy for you _

It had been a month since that phone call. The last time I talked to Y/N. But that was going to change since we had to be on our way to national camp right now. I had boarded a plane to where our next camp was. My hands were a little clammy because today was the day I was going to see Y/N again and I don't know how she will react. Kelley had tried and failed to convince me it was going to be fine but I believe she's been holding something back whenever we talk.

Once I got there to the hotel, everyone was waiting in the lobby to get our keys to our rooms. I scanned the room and immediately saw Y/N talking to...Christen? What the hell?;When did they make up and become friends again? I shook my head in disbelief but walked over to Ali and Pinoe.

We had been in a conversation about camp and what to expect but I was half paying attention, half of my attention on Y/N, Christen, and Mal laughing at a joke one of them made. I slightly smiled when seeing Y/N smile and laugh believing she was better now. I was elbowed by someone and turned to look at Ali who just shook her head no. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion but Pinoe was the one to continue. "Don't Alex. You hurt her badly and she just opened back up to everyone...with a little help from Chris."

Let's say that the mention of Christen and Y/N becoming closer didn't settle with me.

_Stone cold, stone cold _

_You're dancing with her, while I'm staring at my phone _

_Stone cold, stone cold _

_I was your amber, but now she's your shade of gold _

It had been a couple weeks of national camp and it was now coming to an end. So, we all decided to go out and just have fun before we all went back to our club teams. We decided to go to a restaurant that had an arcade in the back. JJ had been able to reserve us the entire restaurant for a few hours after it closed to have a little more privacy.

We all decided to dress casually since it wasn't needed for us to dress fancily in any way. I had gone with Allie and Kelley and Kelley was definitely excited to play in the arcade more than food. I was just happy to be out again with these guys because I haven't really gone out as much since my relationship ended. Allie was definitely ready to get me out and about again and find me someone new. This idea always makes me roll my eyes in return.

When we finally got there, everyone was spread out into different groups, but my eyes immediately went to Y/N and Christen dancing to the song playing at the moment. My mind definitely didn’t think that was right, believing it to be too intimate and just…

“You okay Al?” I turned around to see Becky had just walked into the restaurant as well. I shook my head, looking in between Becky and Y/N and Christen before looking at anything else. And Becky being Becky had to have noticed that I was looking towards the two on the dance floor but she didn’t want to say anything.

“Do you know something Becky? About Y/N and Christen?” I pleaded with the defender in front of me. Now, Becky was the one looking everywhere but me which totally wasn’t suspicious. Hint my sarcasm. Becky and Christen had become Utah Royals teammates so Becky had to know something. That something being Y/N and Christen possibly getting back together.

I pulled the veteran player aside away from prying eyes and ears, “Becky I know you know something. So I just want to know...Did Christen and Y/N get back together?” I probably scared the woman, seeing as she visibly gulped and slowly nodded in confirmation. If my heart wasn’t broken enough before, it was now shattered.

_Stone cold, baby _

_God knows I tried to feel _

_Happy for you _

_Know that I am, even if I _

_Can't understand, I'll take the pain _

_Give me the truth, me and my heart _

_We'll make it through _

_If happy is her, I'm happy for you _

Throughout the night I couldn't help but stay and just watch the two be happy just like they were all those years ago. God it feels just like how I was when they were together. Envious...but it wasn't right. The more I saw Y/N and Christen tonight, the more I saw Y/N actually happy. Happier than she was with me. I mean a part of me always knew Christen and Y/N were one of if not the best couple I've had the chance to know. That's probably why I did that, because I was scared that she would leave me for Christen and it would be better if i did it first. But she always stayed and I repeated the same thing over and over again not knowing I really did have her. But in the end, she really did leave for someone who could love her better than me.

I was currently at the bar just staring at the empty glass in front of me. That was when I saw a body come into view in my peripheral vision. I looked over to see it was the one person I've avoided this entire night...Y/N. I couldn't help but stare at the beauty in front of me until she looked at me as well. I looked back down at my glass with sadness. "Hey Alex," Y/N spoke up causing me to look at her as if she was talking to the wrong person. "Um, hi Y/N," I said back not knowing what else to say to her.

She had gotten her drink when we ended in silence, uncomfortable silence for me. I didn't want to say something stupid but whenever it comes to her, I open my mouth and something stupid comes out.

"I'm happy that you're happy again Y/N."

"What?"

"With Christen. I'm an idiot but an idiot who has two eyes," I told her, internally groaning at my last sentence. When I looked at her she was scratching the back of her neck in guilt.

"Y-yeah, I'm sorry Alex. I've loved Christen for a long time but just so you know you'll always have a place in my heart. Because everything other than all of our mistakes, they were special to me. You're still special to me just not in that way anymore." She concluded with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

I just nodded in return, "yeah. We weren't meant for each other I guess." She shook her head but gripped my shoulder, "you'll find the one Al just don't fuck it up." I nodded once more and Y/N returned to Christen leaving me alone again.

Or so I thought.

"What is a beautiful girl like you doing alone at a bar?" I looked up to see a very pretty woman who looked like she was the bartender here. I blushed and looked down, "I think someone like you would easily know." She chuckled and nodded, her laugh sending butterflies in my stomach. "Touche, love."

I looked back up at her and shyly smiled, "I'm Alex since I'll probably be spending most of the night here." The mystery smiled and grabbed a glass, "well, I'm Natalie and I would love to have some company over here because it does get kinda lonely." The two of us laughed at her joke and just spent the night talking to each other.

Maybe Y/N and I weren't really meant for each other after all.

Don't wanna be stone cold, stone

I wish I could mean this but here's my goodbye

_Oh, I'm happy for you _

_Know that I am, even if I _

_Can't understand _

If happy is _her, if happy is her_

_ I'm happy for you _


End file.
